Living Doll
by writingonandon
Summary: Because Cloud Strife...as prefect as he looks... is not just a doll. He's a living breathing human being with emotions and the mentality of a...child. Unfortunately, sometimes... Tifa forgets. Reviews and thank you.


**Living Doll**

I pace up and down the corridor, chiding myself and throwing myself into a pit of despair as I reanalyse and rethink my actions.

I've gone and done it again. I've gone and taken him for granted…gone and demolished his value. I wouldn't blame him if he refused to speak to me for a week after what I'd just done. No, a month would probably be a more fitting punishment. Damn, I wouldn't mind if he begrudged me for a year.

After a few rounds, I give up on mindless exercise and gloom into my room. At the moment, I think the colour of my bed sheets are a lie and my nice baby blue patterned blanket does not do my character enough justice. White's just too gracious and blue is too damned gentle.

Curses… I'm still feeling guilty.

We had another one of _those_ conversations again. You know… the ones with serious topics…Yeah, the ones that are way over his head.

I know. But I forget. He's _Cloud_, for crying out loud!

Cloud Strife. The guy with perfectly toned muscles, a six-pack, gentle hands, undefeatable strength, a forever-17 face, spiky hair that's ticklish to touch, electric blue eyes that see into your soul…

And the mindset of a cross between a child and an adult…

I forget about the last part sometimes, like just now. I forget that he's still growing and learning about life and society and how to interact with people. I forget that he's really… really off-course and a bit stunted.

And I unload everything onto him expecting him to know how to handle it all.

I expect him to be my knight in shining armour ready to swoop down and destroy all my problems. I expect him to hold me tight and let me cry on his shoulders. I expect him to discuss things with me and not be quiet while I rant. I expect him to have solutions. I expect him to reach my expectations.

I forget that he's human… A very _young_ stage of human. And no matter how mature he looks or how perfect a boyfriend he looks like he'll make, he's still _Cloud_.

He doesn't know how to handle many things and most of the difficult circumstances he encounters are handled by trial and error. Mostly error… He's extremely lost when women start crying and people are the bane of his social existence.

I just unloaded onto him… just now. And the poor thing looked absolutely confused. Of course, I didn't realize it… me being narcissistic and all… and I just continued letting off steam. Whenever I stopped for his opinion, I never noticed the tiny growing pools of fear in his eyes, or the way he was tensing up.

Then I yelled at him, "Why aren't you listening?" thinking that he was dreaming again when he was trying really hard.

In the end, I just stormed up here and started patrolling the corridor before it hit me that I'd gone and yelled pointlessly again.

So here I am… hopefully drowning myself in the despair that I deserve and punishing myself with depressing thoughts. Hopefully, I'll be petrified enough by the time I'm through.

I close my eyes and groan into the pillow.

Maybe I'll depress myself to sleep today.

"Teef?"

I wake up to the feeling of being hugged from behind and the smell of the great outdoors.

He's here. Behind me, holding me tightly. And I'm freezing up.

He doesn't sound mad. Now would be a great time for an apology.

"Cloud, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for yelling and letting loose and being mad and not seeing and-"

He's placed his hand gently over my mouth, "Teef, I'm not mad."

I shake it off, "You're not?"

"No. _I'm _sorry."

"What for?"

"For not…uhhh… answering you when you were letting loose?"

"Cloud, I yelled at you when it wasn't your fault. I was ranting about things that were making you feel lost. _I'm _ the one who's at fault here."

I feel him burry his head in my neck, his spikes feel ticklish, "I don't mind."

"You wouldn't, I would. I'm sorry."

He seems to know what I'm looking for, "You're forgiven."

I reach a hand back and stroke him, repentance for all that yelling… "Thank you. Thank you so much."

I feel his hands wrap around my waist and turn me around, his forehead comes to rest against mine and I find myself staring into those Mako-charged eyes.

"You accepted me first. And for that, I don't care how many times you yell at me."

I smile and feel tears prick my eyes. Then he kisses me and I know that he's grown a bit more.

Cloud is Cloud, not some living doll who responds to my every whim and fancy. He's someone I need to be there for who's willing to be there for me when I need him to be. Give and take, it's more than enough of a blessing.

And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

"Are we planning to fall asleep like this?"

"I'd rather."

"Ok then."

As I fall asleep to the sound of his quiet laughter, the last thing I see before I close my eyes is his smile.


End file.
